I am definitely more busy than I generally like. The Fairy Food alone, I tell ya. To get ready for this holiday season I could and should be making small things from sun-up to well after sundown. For instance, if I am going to put together fifty little baskets brimming with vegetables, and fifty baskets brimming with fruit, and fifty baskets brimming with meat, that means I have to make enormous quantities of everything. Platters and platters full of one inch lettuces, for instance. Three days of mini lettuce making.
But of course my world isn't limited to just Fairy Food. There are children with school schedules, and baths, and interests, and, and... you know. There are impending visits and trips. There is the holiday season for Feeleez and the holiday season for our family. Then there is the guinea pig. A guinea pig! Our newest pet and so darling I could just implode. Holding the guinea pig and stroking his silky hair and squishy body until he stretched himself almost sideways, is what I was doing last night at 1am instead of packing a school lunch, finishing lettuces, or sleeping.
BUT the thing that has my mind so completely wrapped around it's little finger is our eCourse. My goodness. I am both anxious and jubilant about it. We started thinking that together we would just talk about some of our favorite parenting topics. Then, as we begun, we quickly realized that what we were really doing was compiling and boiling our parenting style down into a concise six week chunk. Holy moly.
At first I was daunted. It's so intuitive and involved and sprawling! I've ben posting for three years, I think, just blabbing on about the latest topic that has my mind in a twirl. Of course, in our home all of those thoughts and theories mush into something tangible, into a system of parenting that has totally worked for us. But as far as organization goes, those thoughts have remained as 600 sprawling blog entries. No wonder I was daunted!
But pretty quickly, while running errands or in between bits of daily life, Nathan and I had our ideas sorted into six main topics and accompanying sub-topics. Six. Now that's more manageable. And satisfying, like sorting a whole closet full of clothes into tidy tubs. It all makes so much sense!
Side by side we've been writing, trying not to peek at one another's thoughts. Side by side we've been sleeping, dreaming the next week's topic. It's been a sort of intellectual love binge for us. Like going away for a weekend of sex and chocolate only instead it's keyboard tapping and parenting analysis. And instead of a private, romantic hotel room, it's our kitchen with crumbs, polly pockets, and Pippi Longstocking on the stereo.
For me there is this feeling of great relief, not only to have it all mentally organized and sent out into the world to people I love, but also because it is another opportunity for me to reveal myself further, to say Here is who I am. Maybe you are this way too, or maybe you want to be this way too. Either way, you're welcome to come along. Instead of writing the way parenting should be done, instead of describing the latest theory that anyone only ever does half-way, instead of detailing how we would parent if we were at our best every day, we are sharing exactly how we DO parent.
It isn't that I haven't been honest in the past, but it occurred to me while writing this course that I have been a bit like the bloggers that only show the beautifully set table and not the trashed kitchen just beyond the frame. What I mean is that I spend plenty of air time on empathy, information, and going with the flow, but not as much time on when I say No, how I say No, what our house rules are, how we are kind of strict.
And I don't think this part of our lives is the dirty kitchen, personally I am absolutely certain that the fact that at the end of the day our kids know completely that Nathan and I are in charge, is part of why all of the techniques and theories we use actually work. Yet, for some reason, I barely mention this part. And just as catching a glimpse of Soulemama's dirty kitchen is helpful to see how one actually carries out a life like hers (making, writing, canning, parenting), it is helpful to see Nathan and I putting our foot down, asking our children to do things they don't want to do, setting limits, and making executive decisions.
So there is a wonderful rounding out happening in our minds and in our work. And with this important piece of the equation given it's fair due, I know deep down into my bones, that parenting this way becomes not only more possible for others, but that much more effective. Aaaah.
Busy, mind-twisting, satisfaction.
ps. It's not too late to sign up. Just click on the button to the right. I'd love to have you along.
pps. Contrary to what the title may convey, our course is not just for couples. The team we refer to is the parent/child team. If you are single, separated, or parenting differently than your spouse, this course is for you as well. For that matter, grandparents, uncles, aunts, parents-to-be, could enjoy this too.
