Isn't it funny when you re-realize something you definitely already knew? Here's my latest:
I like kids.
I know that sounds silly. I have three businesses, after all, that deal directly with children. But still I had lost track of that simple understanding of myself. I used to nanny, and volunteer in junior high at a pre-school. I've been around kids a lot. But somehow when our own kids arrived everything kid-like sort of fell into the sub category of our kids. Each child or interaction was filed with regard to our own personal kid situation. Examples are: How old is that child is compared to Xi? How do those people parent compared to us? How cute is that girl and how does she interacts with Echo?
But this fall I started working at Xi's Montessori school in exchange for a discount on tuition. It wasn't something I was chomping at the bit to do. I really like her school but it is still school and I wasn't crazy about the idea of exposing Echo to it. Mostly because I don't want her to want to go to school because I am loving unschooling with her. I also wasn't thrilled with adding another task to the day, getting to the school at mid-day, then back home, then returning to school to pick up Xi sounded like a pain in the arse. Selfish reasons but nonetheless reasons to drag my feet a bit.
But it's been wonderful.
1. Echo and I discovered a shortcut through some athletic fields that we'd never before explored (don't you love it when you find "new" nooks and crannies in your own town?), so at least for this sunny fall season the rides to and fro have been a pleasure in themselves.
2. I get to spy on Xi. Our job, Echo's and mine, is to walk a group of kids to the park for recess, help kids negotiate swings and the sandbox, and keep them all safe from the outside world, then walk the group back again. From my post at the swings I get to watch Xi in her "natural habitat", meaning she doesn't overly factor in my presence and I get to see her running wild with her two besties.
3. I am even more connected to Xi and what she does during the day. I know all of the kid's names, the teachers, the ins and outs of that world. No longer do I have to pull teeth to get Xi to describe her day because I know some of it already.
4. Echo gets to taste school without tuition, or a nine-month commitment. She's making friends, and walking in a straight, quiet line, but at the end of the hour we whiz away, back to our own day of mama and girl.
5. I get to be around kids!
I like them so much.
There is a story by Patricia Polacco called Thank You Mr. Falker, a tale about a girl who has trouble learning to read. In that story there is a kind grandma that emotionally supports the girl through her troubles. One night, laying on a quilt under the night sky, the grandma describes the stars as holes punched in the fabric of the sky, through which the light pours. She explains that when she dies, she will join the light on the other side of the dark fabric.
Something clicked for me when I heard this. It illustrates a feeling I have long felt. That light, the shiny source energy of God or the Universe, or whatever you want to call it, shines through chinks in the fabric of our lives all of the time. I feel it coming from animals, and birds, and beautiful trees. And I feel it from children.
Children have just arrived from that brilliant world beyond the fabric and thus are still so shiny and sparkly. Walking those twelve children from their tiny-chaired classroom to the woodchip park I am filled with their sparkliness. "Natalie! Did you know I am a real Jedi? I picked up my cereal bowl today without even touching it!" "Teacher Natalie? My mom has little feet and they are ticklish."
Oh? Little balls of brilliant light? You are a Jedi? Your mom has little ticklish feet?
It's like surrounding yourself with foreigners, the kind that are so completely themselves because they aren't accustomed to the culture to which they have joined.
I like it so much.
That light that kids shine is something I treasure and if I think about it, is one of the reasons for all of my businesses. Fairy Food is like a portal to a child's (and adult's) inner yumminess. They squeal with delight or stare in wonder. Tiny realistic food, for whatever reason, pleases those little balls of brilliant light. Feeleez basically builds a road for the light to travel on, and gives parents a window as to what that light is thinking and feeling. By having something to point to that describes their inner emotional world, kids have a way to express their swirl of thoughts and feelings. The foreign language of their mind has a translator. We parents like that. We need translators. And through this blog, either through writing my own thoughts and influencing others with my perspective, or through phone consults, I get to champion that shining kid light.
The way I parent and the way I am pleased to help others to parent considers the light. If we do it right we get to see exactly who children are, we get to bathe in their light. If we do it well that light will still shine, even after we are done with them.
I like kids.
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