Core Concepts

This is what Echo has in mind for her school day today:

• play cheetah
• play warrior woman
• pick up sticks outside
• listen to an audio story
• food
• dog walk
• listen to more audio story

Sounds like a six-year old's dream. And she's probably going to be correct. I'm sure in summary these are the parts she will remember when she's drifting off to sleep.

I suppose it's built into parent DNA to worry. Give us a pile of child-related stuff and we'll find something  to worry about. Because we are homeschooling the thing I worry about the most is if we are doing it "right", if we are "teaching enough", or if Echo is "learning enough". I especially worry about it at the start of the school year, fretting about curriculum and school materials, activities and schedules. I feel silly because let me tell you who isn't worried: our daughter.

She has total complete trust in her desire to learn, her ability to learn, and supreme joy in actually learning. Damn, if I could only manage to hang onto her shirttails a little tighter I'd be fine. Instead I dance a stupid dance. In the middle of the day I find myself wondering what kids in school are doing and then make a quick check to see if we are doing something equally "educational". Then I shake my head and try to rid it of these unhelpful comparisons. I tune into Echo's rhythm, listen to her non-stop literary commentary while she plays: They curled up, in mild indifference to their mother's warmth. (She actually says stuff like that!) Her mind is obviously working. Working overtime. The beat of her learning is awesome, contagious, and surely more inspiring and confidence building for me than the shaky "compare us to school" two-step.

But there it is. Comparing is what humans seem to do. I think I do a pretty good job walking my own walk. Sometimes I feel so outside the mainstream that its silly to even contemplate how our family looks (its structure, daily schedule, and ideals) standing next to other families. But I still do.

The other day, a "school" day, I was pushing Echo in the stroller (its big and easily fits a six year old) while walking Henry. Another mom came toward us. Both her children were little, one just an infant. She smiled at me in the co-conspirator-two-moms-walking-their-babies kind of way, and craned her neck to get a peek at my "baby". I peeled back the stroller lid to reveal my huge human child inside, snacking on a bagel, deep in audio story heaven.

The other mom was rattled! My mind raced. She's homeschooled! Audio stories improve both language and math skills! She eats vegetables too, not just starchy carbohydrates! She can walk on her own I swear! Instead I just smiled and gave her a whiff of empathy in my twinkly eyes. Her expectations were different, I understand that. I also gave myself some empathy. it's kind of hard to be different, even if I absolutely love all the ways I/we differ.

If I were to summarize our curriculum these days it would be:

• four - five hours of audio stories

We have an ipod now and you can imagine how happy we are to be spared continual narration at full volume for most of the day. And I don't think I have to say this, but Echo wants to listen to stories this much. When I start to worry about this I remember Malcom Gladwell's book Outliers. He studied people who are tops in their trade and found that each one has spent over 10,000 hours practicing their skills. The Beatles, champion hockey players, Bill Gates - each one clocked at least  10,000 hours studying their craft. I don't know what Echo's "trade" will be but she's seriously clocking the hours.

• one - two hours of parent-led "lessons"

Nathan and Echo have music lessons twice a week that include history lessons, instrument structure, and playing. On Fridays they switch to science. I work on Spanish and language, social studies, art and math. Lately we've been playing card games where Echo has to make various sums to win the game of solitaire.  But I gotta say these lessons only succeed if they tap into something Echo is already interested in. If she isn't lit up by the subject or the method, forget it, I can tell real, light-your-fire learning isn't happening. It's tough to stuff ones ego and well-planned lesson but it sure is worth it.

• play

Right now Echo is playing Warriors - a game based on the series of novels by Erin Hunter. She is using a giant stuffed duck, several stuffed snakes, and buckets of imagination to turn our living room into a clan of warrior cats stationed in a clearing.

• life

I don't think I have to explain this one but Echo is around while life happens! This means that she's gathering knowledge on permaculture while she helps Papa rebuild a garden bed. She studying animal science while we check on the new chicks (repeatedly) throughout the day. She's working on social skills when she explains to the neighbor about the name of our guinea pig (Ken Da Cuteness Fluffball the Great) and how one of our cats is in love with the other but its all very unrequited.

• empathy

This girl is super tuned in to empathy, not just because she avidly participates in all Feeleez business discussions (she wants to inherit the biz), but because empathy is a regular part of her everyday life. She points out mothers she thinks are doing a "good job" because they give their daughters empathy. She comments on doses of "self-empathy" she gives herself when she bonks her chin. She isn't receiving formal lessons of course but the girl is steeped in this element.

 

When I type it all out I feel pretty groovy, less comparitive. That feels nice. We're all going to worry anyway but none of us needs to. If we're meeting basics needs and digging into trusting ourselves and our children we're all going to be just fine.

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ps. Parenting on the Same Team starts tomorrow! Reserve your slot!

 

Comments

[Kristin]

Wow, we're very much in the same mode here. School staring, wondering if I've made the right decision to keep her at home. Wondering about her social skills (she still needs to me help her initiate playing with new friends or kids she doesn't know yet). ETC. Our list for the day might be: play horses, go check the coop for eggs, play horses, go for a bike ride, play horses, perhaps a parent-led 'learning' activity, color coloring pages printed from the internet, watch a movie, play horses, and oh yeah eat something every hour! Man I wish our girls could have a play date! One day...

And CHICKS! Really?! Lea talks about chicks every.single.day!! We look at the calendar and talk about how long until we get some. I have to tell her stories every night about CHICKS! And we won't be getting any until next spring. But if one of our hens wanted to raise some, we'd be ok with that. Anyway, CONGRATS on the chicks!!!! WOOOT!!

[Jessi Crago]

Well, if it makes you feel any better, know that I (as an elementary education student and soon to be teacher) am constantly comparing my interactions with children against you and your interactions with your kiddos.

Every time I have a spare moment, or find myself reflecting on the last lesson, that last little moments interaction, or the last 8 hours I spent with other people's children...I wonder how you would have done it? How Natalie would have responded to that fight between children, or that moment of need, or that look from the other adult who is obviously critiquing me...

You may spend your lunch time wondering about school...but know that I'm spending my lunch time wondering about you! How can I instill more empathy into my lesson plans when a scripted program is all I'm allowed to use? How can I make time to honor who each child is when the clock seems hell-bent on racing forward?

There are so many thousands of countless moments that I have shared with the children in my family, with the adults in my world, and with the students I teach that have been influenced by your wisdom. Giving self-love and making time to give others empathy has been one of my greatest assets and challenges in the light of my role in public education.

Thank you for the ongoing inspiration!
~Ms. Wolf.

[6512 and growing]

Natalie,

I love what you're doing and trusting in your homeschool life.

We haven't done much audio books, but the reading of books to children is becoming top of our learning "curriculum," seeming to cover: vocabulary, history, language arts, social studies, storytelling, and so many other lines of learning.

This morning we found a skunk in our chicken coop who would Not Get Out. Col got to use his BB gun skills, and after an over an hour of planning, focusing, waiting, stalking and some well-placed shots (not aimed to kill), he got the skunk out and saved the chickens! Felt like a pretty good morning of learning right there.

xo

[Kathy]

BRAVO!!!! Homeschooling at it's best. You are so blessed to see into your child's mind. It gets way more fun and educational the older they get when you allow them to choose and learn on their own terms. They develop their individual genius that way. And when they are grown they will affirm you and your efforts, or at least mine did. And I seriously some days miss it, though it's been almost nine years since we finished.

[Natalie Christensen]

Thanks Kathy!
I think I will seriously miss these days as well.

[Natalie Christensen]

Thanks Kathy!
I think I'll miss these days as well. So rich and lovely.

[mb]

have you guys listened to sparkle stories? quinn, too, could listen to audio stories without ceasing, and they are his favorites. i imagine you have already run across their little mom and pop company... but just in case you haven't, i think they'd be right up your alley!

and i hear you on wanting to write it down, and how good that can feel. i think it's so easy to doubt ourselves but if we trust ourselves and our kids, things flow. i do a monthly post of what we are doing in "unschool" mainly for my own records, to be able to track progress and milestones, but the bottom line is it makes me feel like okay we ARE doing something here.

the story about echo in the stroller is great, and yeah, it's not like we are impervious to uncomfortable feelings when someone else is taken aback at how we choose to lead our lives, even though we are consciously making these choices. i hear that.