Mama (we hope)

Have you ever heard of the emotional ladder? That's the latest graphic I have been working on. The basic idea is that emotions exist on a spectrum. Way over at one end there is fear, grief, despair and waaay over on the other end is joy, appreciation, and love. In between is every other emotion. Humans have an automatic instinctive response to feel better and we make attempts at inching up the emotional spectrum sometimes without even realizing it.

The best example in our personal lives is when Bella, our oldest girl, does something with something that is precious to Xi (the ten-year old). The girls get in a fight and in the lull that comes afterward Bella sneaks away and hides Xi's shoes or destroys a "precious" plastic ring or something. Nathan and I had been completely befuddled by this action until we heard of the emotional spectrum. As it turns out Revenge is further up the emotional ladder than Anger. Revenge feels better than Anger. Bella's destructive action is actually a natural human attempt at feeling better, even if only slightly, and even if inappropriate.

It's easier to have empathy for a person you view as desperately trying to feel better than it is for someone you view as willfully deceptive and destructive. I think about this phenomenon a lot with regard to bullying. Bullies should really be named People Trying To Feel Better By Choosing Actions That Harm Others. And you better believe we cover this in our workshops.

But what the heck does this have to do with a chicken?

Well... if you are aware of this emotional ladder the theory is that you can reach for a slightly better feeling thought and gently move your way up the ladder. I notice it goes the other way too. Yesterday when our girls were fighting and Echo turned into a feral cat throwing things at me and grunting I was pretty chill. Then during a lull I thought about something else stressful and I came apart and started crying and feeling sorry for myself. Oops, emotional chutes and ladders.

ANYWAY, about that chicken. I find this reaching for better thoughts practice helpful at night as I'm falling asleep. I don't know about you but I often use the pre-sleep time to go over all of my fretful ideas. This. Is. Not. Recommended. Lately, instead of fretting myself into the deep of night and further away from sleep I think of our chicken. Our Rhode ISland Red has decided to go broody on us. It's a strange time to even think about having chicks but we are willing to think outside the (nest)box if she is. So we got her some hatching eggs! We slipped a motley crew of eggs from our local awesome heritage hen friend under her puffy feathers and the girl is stoked.

So late at night I think of her, sitting tight, just under our windows, patiently waiting. I wonder where she is on the emotional spectrum, my guess is pretty far over on the joy and freedom end of things.

ps. I'll post that new graphic as soon as I can!